Regret
by bury me among the ashes
Summary: Seto Kaiba has many reasons to regret who he is and what he's become. He has many reasons to hate himself for the wrong choices he made in the past, and so he does.


**Disclaimer! I DO NOT OWN YUGIOH!**

Rain pounded down on the window to the room of 10-year old Seto Kaiba, and he stared outside, praying for a way to escape and run freely through that rain as he heard his angry stepfather storming upstairs. Fear caught him in a tight embrace as his door was forced opened, and he held in the breath he was unable to force out as he was struck firmly across the face with Gozaburo's leather strap.

"Seto!" He boomed as Seto struggled not to reach up and grab the reddened area of his face where the strap bit into him again, "You think this is a game boy!" Gozaburo fumed, slurring drunkenly in his speech as he staggered ever closer to Seto.

"Please, I don't know what you're talking about." The small child begged.

"Don't play dumb with me you little ingrate. Where is it? Where is that damn locket I told you to throw away?" Gozaburo growled persistently.

Seto released what could only be described as the cross between a gasp and a whimper as the realization set in that there was no getting away with what he'd done. He himself didn't understand what was so horrible about keeping a locket in the shape of a duel monster's card with his mother and father's picture on either side. Gozaburo however, had a huge problem with this, in fact, anything that even reminded Seto or Mokuba of their parents was ordered to be burned or disposed of immediately. Seto bit down hard on his lip to keep from crying out as the strap made contact with his arm, tearing his shirt, blood rising to the top of the skin to form a raised bruise that was now taking on a purple hue.

"Give it to me boy! Give it to me now before I beat the living daylights out of you!" He thundered as he swung the strap continuously, new welts mixed with old soon formed all over Seto's body, and he fell to the floor in a heap, taking sharp uneven breaths, gasping to keep up with the pain.

"It's not here, the locket isn't here." He insisted as he coughed up more blood, he'd need new clothes when this was finally finished.

"Then where the hell is it!" Gozaburo thundered as he grabbed Seto by the scruff of the neck and hauled him up off the ground. "Tell me now…" He growled out lowly.

"It's under the loose floorboard on the second floor library." Seto choked out as he tried to wipe the blood from his body. Gozaburo threw him down on the ground and proceeded to stomp his face into the ground.

"You. Worthless. Ungrateful. Bastard." He spat, stomping the poor boy's face into the floor each time. Seto rolled out from under his stepfather to avoid having his skull crushed and got wobbly to his feet. Gozaburo's steel like hands constricted around Seto's throat, holding him up against the wall. Seto lashed out as his air supply was cut off, kicking his feet, biting and scratching at Gozaburo.

"Stop! You leave my big brother alone!" Mokuba exclaimed from the doorway in tears.

"How dare you speak to me that way!" Gozaburo growled finally releasing Seto, leaving him dry heaving on the floor as he stalked off after Mokuba. The frightened toddler's eyes widened when he caught sight of Seto that was still unable to control his breathing, then he quickly snapped his attention back to the man hovering above him, gaze fixed on the leather strap that was clutched in his left hands.

Mokuba closed his eyes and began sobbing as he waited for the first hiss of the lash, and sting of the weapon on his cheek, but it never came, instead, there was a loud noise in front of him, and Mokuba opened his eyes that were rimmed with tears. Peering down at his feet, he saw Gozaburo passed out on the floor, his breathing had slowed, and he no longer looked angry, he was sleeping peacefully now, and Seto had risen once again to his feet.

"Everything will be okay now." He reassured as he went into the bathroom to wash up and get changed.

Mokuba's eyes wandered about the room, and then finally lowered to the ground, bottom lip trembling as he whispered, "Until tomorrow's hangover…."

Seto cleansed his new flesh wounds, the water in the shower growing a deeper shade of pink with each passing second, silently he was screaming, begging for a savior. He couldn't remember the last time he woke up without his body hurting all over, he couldn't remember the last time he had ever been able to see Mokuba long enough to have a conversation with him, or to properly comfort him. All he could remember now was his stepfather's voice, the dreaded sound of the strap singing as it sailed through the air. He no longer knew warmth, beauty, or love. All around him things were ugly, things were cold, and life seemed pointless, but still he endured to protect Mokuba, in the hopes that he'd live long enough to see the outside world again. In the hopes that one day in the distant future, he would be able to right all the wrongs Gozaburo had done onto him and his brother.

If only he knew how wrong he was at the time, if only he knew then how cold he himself would grow to become, he would've surely never made it through those next horrid years that followed. But he didn't, and that's why he became Seto Kaiba, that's why he is who he is today, because he hoped for something better. He found that something better and more, but unfortunately, he lost track of all the warmth, and beauty he was no longer banned from feeling and experiencing. It was true he was no Gozaburo, but he wasn't the man he wanted to be, and so he regretted being who he was, every single second of every single day.


End file.
